I Can't Hold Back My Tears Anymore is the third episode of the anime series of Black Rock Shooter. It will air on February 17, 2012.
- Spoiler Alert: This plot may contain major moments and ending details of the episode.
In the other world, the girl in red stands atop a stone. She holds out something resembling a watering can and drops some liquid onto the floor. The drops grow into strange hooded figures, while she smiles.
While walking to school, Mato and Yomi discuss Kagari's state. Having calmed down, Kagari is apparently resting at home. That previous day, right after having smiled at Mato, Kagari had simply collapsed and fallen asleep peacefully. Indicating that she is back to her calm self when Yomi mentions that Kagari is doing walking excercises and begin to seem being cheerful.
Mato accidentally calls Yomi by her first name and holds it back, but Yomi responds that it's okay, calling her by her first name as well.
Yuu catches up with them and tells Mato they have a meeting, so the two excuse themselves.
Later, Mato plays basketball, when Arata catches her landing a shot. Arata declares that Mato will now be a semi-regular at the summer tournament, and thus she is going to start putting Mato through training, while Mato dreads the draconian training Arata is fond of.
After the practice, Yuu notes that Mato was walking to school with her "Tiny Bird", and as Mato looks sheepish, Yuu teases that she's "creepy" and that Arata will have to straighten her out. Mato is still dreading the training, while Yuu tells her that nobody can go one-on-one with the captain.
Mato hears Arata's footsteps and she and Yuu look behind a corner to find her talking to a boy, where she seems to be handing him a love letter. However, they fail to see the result as Arata catches sight of them and they run away.
At home, Mato debates what she will take with her to practice and accidentally jolts her bookshelf; the Li'l Bird Li'l Bird Colorful Colors book almost falls out but she catches it. She notes that she didn't have any dreams the night before, but thinks about the hooded girl she had seen before. She also muses about the eponymous Li'l Bird, a bird that absorbs colors of many worlds into its feathers, but wanted to see new worlds and had taken in so many colors that its feathers had become dull. She wonders if the color of the mysterious girl's eyes change.
Yomi calls her just for chatting, and they talk on the phone. Mato mentions Yuu, and Yomi asks about her; Mato starts to talk about Yuu and their relationship since kindergarten, but Yomi seems to be dragged down at the mention of Yuu and her friendship with Mato. She quickly ends the call and stares at her phone.
On the way to the location where they will be training, Yuu starts to take responsibility for Mato's well-being.
The other members of the team ask Arata if Mato is indeed a good player to be a semi-regular, as she doesn't fit the niche required for their team. Arata says that it'll be fine since Yuu is her friend, and continues to push Mato.
In the other world, the hooded figures sprouting from the liquid shake back and forth, quivering. The girl offers her hand to a particularly shaky one, but the ground trembles, and all of the figures look up, chanting that something is "coming". The landscape starts to shatter, and rocks fall upon the figures.
Mato wakes up in the area designated for trainees to sleep, in the middle of the night. Yuu wakes up next to her, asking what is wrong. They go out to get drinks from the vending machine and Mato tells her about her dreams, which Yuu comments on. Mato says that there are a lot of girls in them, but she hadn't seen the one that she'd seen that night before and the girls she usually sees weren't there.
Yuu mentions something Saya had told her before, which Mato remembers having also been told: if one is in a lot of pain, there is someone out there to endure it for them. Yuu reasons that maybe the girls are trying to relieve hers. Mato agrees with Yuu that it sounds cool, but it doesn't make much sense. She does, however, mention that the hooded girl happens to pop up a lot, apparently a little older than the others.
At school, Yomi solemnly makes bracelets by herself, and finds herself at Saya's "Dawn Counseling" room. Saya asks if something is wrong, but Yomi blushes, says no, and quickly leaves, while Saya leaves a sad smile.
While the sports girls are souvenir shopping, Yuu and Mato see Arata holding a souvenir sword, which she intends to give to the boy, saying that it makes a Japanese man look more manly, though she denies it being for him. As Arata buys it, Mato comments she looks cute in that state, and Yuu asks if she wants a boyfriend too, to which Mato says is too soon and that she might in high school; Yuu comments that Mato already has her "Tiny Bird", to which Mato yells not to make assumptions.
Saya, alone in the counseling room, briefly imitates the motion Yomi had made to her, and then gets out a 2012 student list, where Mato and Yomi's names are circled.
Having returned from the sports trip, Mato gives Yomi a box of treats as a present. Noticing that Yomi is unnerved by her talk of Yuu, Mato tells Yomi to talk to her anytime she has something on her mind, since they are friends, but Yomi mutters that she's not her best friend. Mato does not understand, but Yomi simply thanks her for the sweets and gives her a bracelet she had made for her, this time in blue.
Mato and Yomi walk around to see a large crowd. Soon, Arata comes from behind, wondering what the crowd is, only to find her love letter publicly posted on the school bulletin. She sees the boy, embarrassed, being strong-armed by two other boys, who tell her that it's not her place and tease her about it. Clearly hurt, Arata puts on a fake smile and takes the letter down, saying she made a mistake.
Outside, the three discuss the situation and Mato and Yuu start crying. Noticing them, Yomi thinks that for them it is "the time to cry", that they have cried and lived together and will do so in the future. As she does so, in her art club, she paints a picture of a crying Mato.
In the other world, the girl in red cuts apart the rocks that had been hurled at them and looks up to see who had intruded, only to see the hooded girl. She aims her cannon at her, but the girl in red dodges, and the hits kill many of the sprouted figures.
At Saya's room, Arata laughs and says she shouldn't do things she's not good at. Saya tells her that it's okay for her to cry if she wants and if it's hard on her. Saya asks if it hurts to be that strong, and silently cries, which Arata notices. Saya walks over to her and tells her that she's the joke of the school now and everyone is laughing at her, and that it must hurt, and Arata is taken aback.
The girl takes down her hood and looks at one of the strange figures. It backs away from her, afraid, but the girl offers her hand to it. However, it simply continues to tremble.
As Yomi is walking outside, Saya opens the window nearby and asks if she wants coffee.
At basketball practice, Arata is tripped over, and twists her ankle, a serious liability as the basketball tournament is coming. She asks Mato to help her walk. She tells Mato that she doesn't like to think it's someone else's fault when something bad happens because that would mean she has nothing to do with it, but she wants to take all of that responsibility. Mato tells her that she's going to get a teacher to help, and she'll bring Saya if she wants - but Arata tells her not to bring Saya, and afterwards says she'll be fine on her own. Mato leaves, but then the room goes dark, and suddenly Arata clutches her head...
In Saya's room, Yomi asks for two spoonfuls of sugar in her coffee. Saya gives her the coffee, and Yomi tastes it, finding it bitter; Saya tells her that she kept it black.
In the hallways, Mato thinks about how Arata must be strong to endure all that. Meanwhile, in the other world, the girl continues to approach the figure as it inches backwards in fear. The girl's eye-flame ignites and she grabs the figure, as Arata grabs her head and screams. Mato senses this and looks back, while the girl beheads the figure. Saya senses this too and suddenly begins crying, while a shocked Yomi looks on.
Mato enters the room where Arata is and finds her lying prone on the floor...
By order of appearance
- Black★Gold Saw
- Mato Kuroi
- Yomi Takanashi
- Kagari Izuriha (mentioned only)
- Yuu Koutari
- Arata Kohata
- Black★Rock Shooter
- Saya Irino
- The title of this episode is one of the lines within the original song.
- What is Saya's connection with the "other selves", if she has any? Why were the names circled and what is the reason for her behavior towards Arata and Yomi?
- Answer: Saya's other self is Black Gold Saw, and the names are circled because they mark those with "other selves".
- What were the hooded figures? Are they "other selves" or something else? Are they connected to Arata in any way?
- Answer: A certain "other self" is Arata's other self, and the hooded figures could be "other selves", but incomplete.
- How did Saya know about Mato and Yomi's other self?
- Answer: Saya's duty is to protect the Otherworld, so she knows about them because her Other self is Black Gold Saw.
- Why did Black Gold Saw and Black Rock Shooter offer their hands to the Hooded Figure?
- Why did Black Gold Saw make those figures?